Big girl . . .

Yes, this picture is old. This is a picture of Sophia and her once beloved "LaLa". That's right . . . once beloved. Sophia has decided that she is too big for this LaLa. A few days after Sophia was born, our friend Esther visited us and brought a small silky blanket for Sophia. Sophia has been a very social child from the beginning, so when she was about a month old we would take her to church and she would leave just miserable because she would refuse to sleep for fear of missing something. In time, our friend Marilyn, who took care of Sophia in the church nursery, discovered that if the small silky blanket was laid gently over Sophia's face, she would drift to sleep (that sounds bad, but trust me it was safe and loving--this blanket was probably 10 inches by 10 inches and very light).

And so began Sophia's love affair with her LaLa. By the time Sophia was six months old, she couldn't sleep without her little silky blanket. We decided to introduce another little silky blanket into Sophia's life so that we would be covered in the event that we lost the first one--not to mention that having a spare made it easier to was the blanket. The blanket pictured above was that second little blanket.

When Sophia began to form words, she named the little blankets her "LaLa's" As parents Travis and I grew to love those little blankets as much as Sophia did because of the great comfort they gave her. I will tell you that since the time Marilyn discovered the magic of the LaLa we have rarely left the house without one.

In time for one reason or another, other LaLa's found their way into our home. Each one Sophia eventually gave a slightly different name. The first one from Esther was Little LaLa, because it is the smallest. The second one we introduced was dubbed Soft LaLa, though it isn't really any softer than the others. On one unfortunate outing when I forgot to bring a LaLa I had a moment of weakness in Target and bought Sophia another LaLa just so she would stop fussing. Ok, I'll be honest, this actually happened twice. The first was Teddy Bear LaLa (silky blanket with a bear on top) and the second was Blankey LaLa (this one is full baby blanket size). We acquired our final LaLa this summer at a garage sale. How could we pass it up . . . bright pink, never used and only fifty cents. This one is Noisy LaLa because it has a little rattle inside.

So back to the once beloved Soft LaLa. Several nights ago I went through the routine of tucking Sophia into bed: read a book, sing a prayer, lay Sophia on her pillow, cover her with Blankey LaLa and only Blankey LaLa, and then surround her head with her other LaLa's. (Let me tell you, this girl has an intimate awareness of her LaLa's. You hand her a wad of them and she can tell you without even looking which one is missing.) On this particular night Sophia reach through her pile of LaLa's and grabbed Soft LaLa. "I don't like this one." On the floor it went. I was surprised, because usually Sophia is not ready for bed without her full inventory of LaLa's.

The next night was the same thing. "I don't need this one anymore." Again I was surprised, but didn't give it much thought. This girl loves her LaLa's, so I figured Soft LaLa would be back in Sophia's good graces any day.

On the third day, Sophia and I were making her bed. Part of Sophia's job in the bed making process is to put all of her LaLa's on the bed once it's made. From the pile of LaLa's on the floor Sophia chose Soft LaLa. "We can get rid of this one. I don't need it any more." Get rid of a LaLa?? "Sophia, why don't you need it any more?" I asked. Sophia looked at me as though the answer were obvious, "Because I'm a big girl."

I'll be honest. It took my breath away. She's my baby, and part of who she is as my baby is her love for her LaLa's. Now, obviously I know that she isn't going to love them forever, and really I don't want her to. I'm just not sure that I'm ready for her to be grown up enough to be finished with her LaLa's. Regardless, I took Soft LaLa from Sophia and put it on the shelf in her closet.

As I stood there lamenting the maturation of my baby girl, Sophia reached over to her other LaLa's and said, "I just need Blankey LaLa, and Noisy LaLa, and Teddy Bear LaLa, and Soft LaLa." I suppose I don't need to lament the passing of her childhood just yet.