So much for natural consequences . . .

Very early in our parenting experience Travis and I made the decision to refrain from using physical means of discipline. We made this decision for many reasons, but one of which was the encouragement that one of our parenting mentors gave us to teach our children that "We don't solve problems in physical ways." So, we're big on natural consequences and incentives to shape the behavior of our children. Of course sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but the same is probably true of spanking. All of that is probably a long and unnecessary lead up to a funny story . . .

Sophia is a child with quick wit, a lot of determination, and a surprisingly sophisticated grasp of reality. She is a child who is often able to turn the natural consequences approach to discipline on its head, often responding to a natural consequence in a way that indicates she is getting exactly what she wants though that is clearly not the adult's intention. Case in point . . .

The other day after I picked Sophia up from daycare, I had the following conversation with her in the car:

Mom: So, Sophia, what was the very best part of your day today?

Sophia: Well, I got my lunch served to me just like at a restaurant!!

(The kids usually walk through a line to collect their food.)

Mom: Really? That does sound fun. Did all of the kids in your class get to have their food served to them?

Sophia: Nope. Just me. It was so cool. Just like I was at a restaurant, but I was really still at school! I felt like a princess!

(Huge smile on her face.)

Mom: Wow! You must have done something pretty special to have gotten to be served lunch.

(Sophia thinks for a minute.) Sophia: Well, not really. Actually, right before lunch during carpet time I was talking when I was supposed to be quiet. My teacher sent me back to my table and said I wasn't allowed to get up. Then when everyone else had to walk through the line to get lunch, my teacher brought mine right to me! Just like at a restaurant!!

(Mom suppressing a laugh.)

Sophia: Why are you laughing?

Mom: Do you think your teacher wanted you to enjoy sitting at the table while everyone else went through the line?

(Sophia thinking as though this has not occurred to her.)

Sophia: Hmmmmm. I guess not. But I really did like it!!